The Great Weird Al Word Count

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
Just hand me a moist towelette
Don't tell me I'm paranoid
I know that they're after me
They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
They're all over me
I can feel 'em all over me
Over every part of me
I know they're watching me
They're always watching me
They're coming after me
Won't somebody help me
Please somebody help me
You've got to believe me
They're out to get me
They wanna control me
They wanna destroy me
They're tryin' to kill me
It kind of upsets me

My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
It wa driving me crazy
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half years old
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
Except for me
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Make me"
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
They were tearin' me apart
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh, get 'em off me
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
Anyway, things really started lookin' upi for me
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And then he gets all indignant on me
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days

Run away with me, to another place
You're never gonna keep me down
You're never gonna keep me down
You're never gonna keep me down
You're never gonna keep me down
To get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby baby
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home

I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh [Two Eighty-Six]
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
It does all my work without me even askin'
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you

Oh, my baby, my baby she don't want me no more
Tell me, what can he do that I can't do better
When she caught me hangin' out at the Ticketmaster
If she wants to leave me, I guess I better let her

Yesterday it occurred to me
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
Yah? Well, well me too!
Yesterday, it occurred to me

It's just me 'cause I love to eat
Every picture of me's
Now my doctor tells me

Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don't bother me too much

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely true.